Security vendor Sophos has found yet another new way to Make Security Scarier by matching the number of Spam relayed through a country per head of population.
This stunning new way of detailing the Spam menace produces the vital fact that the isolated Pitcairn Islands top the latest in a long line of lists from Sophos, with the highest number of spam relayed per capita.
Only one of the Islands - Pitcairn Island itself - is inhabited, with a population of 50, coming from nine families.
If 10,000 spam emails were sent from the country in a month - a mindnumbingly conservative estimate - an average of more than 1100 emails are sent per family, per month.
Communications from the island go mainly through the island's costly single satellite internet connection, or its one lone payphone.
Transport to and from the island is limited to the occasional longboat that sails by.
It doesn't take one of Sophos' internet security geniuses to surmise that each one of these hypothetical lewd 10,000 spam emails is written longhand by an elder of one of these "crime families", re-typed on a typewriter by an underling, then carried as hard-copy to mainland New Zealand on the longboat that passes by once a month. Here it is again laboriously re-typed as an email and sent to an unwitting email recipient.
Chief security officers take note: it's the longboats that are the enemy!
If you really hate spam or longboats, you'll also do well to avoid Niue, Tokelau, Anguilla, the Faroe Islands, Monaco, Bermuda, the Falkland Islands, Andorra and Aruba.
Tune in next time for our stinging expose on which country has the most left handed clowns who send spam while juggling four balls and riding a unicycle.